


Fellow Feeling

by iamveryverycrazyvery



Category: Electronic Dance Music RPF
Genre: Fellow Feeling, Gen, Worlds (Porter Robinson), Worlds Live Tour, porter robinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-05 01:22:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17315423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamveryverycrazyvery/pseuds/iamveryverycrazyvery
Summary: I want to show you what I heard, what I hear, and what I want to hear. Please listen.





	Fellow Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a piece of writing I did based on Porter Robinson's Fellow Feeling and the visuals for the song from the World's Live Set. Enjoy! (Also, the direct quotes from the song aren't my work, obviously.)

Alone. I've been alone, wandering endlessly through the wilderness, not knowing quite why. Although I know that it hasn't always been this way, I can't remember what it was like before it was. Maybe I've become so used to this bushy, boring, bland forest that it wiped my memory of anything that wasn't it. To someone who had never been in my position, the forest is simply stunning. Lush, emerald leaves veil the sharp branches, it comes up to you so suddenly, it’s breathtaking. But for me, the emerald of the leaves has been drained. Now I see only in grey, every moment is the same, on repeat, like a broken record. Contact with anyone was so rare that it has never happened.

Until now.

I've never seen a human, but I know that I'm not quite one. I'm not quite an animal, either. Seemingly, my body has traits of both. Why did I always constantly have the need to know what I am? Despite searching, there are limits and barriers. For one, the infinite forest surrounds me everyday. If there's an exit, it's masked by something I'm so used to that it just seems usual to have in the area. My efforts look silly, as I still don't know what I am. 

Until now.

From time to time, I come to a cliff. Dreamingly, I stare at the purple sky, wondering what could be where I can't be. Wonderful things. So engrossed in my thoughts, my imagination explodes like a volcano. Items and scenarios zoom across my mind, but I grab them, and hold on to them in my never-ending, never-beginning, memory. Yet, I didn't think any of them would come true.

Until now.

People like situations that put them in danger. It gives them a thrill. They love to cause unbearable, unhealable pain. They love to steal, hate to give. They love to make themselves happy without caring about those suffering around them. And they absolutely adore fighting. But I don't. The more I see bad things, the more I want to get rid of them. In addition, it doesn't give me pleasure to receive things when others are stripped so violently. Everyday, I wish for it to go away, but, disappointed, I never thought there was a working method of doing it. Making it happen. Purging the hate and fear.

Until now.

Until I saw you.

A pitch-black lake was where it was. Contently flickering, a single, lone flame danced on top of it. Strange, it was. But then, I realised, it wasn't a lake. As I held my torch close to the surface, it all began to make sense. Through the dark muck, I laid my eyes on you. At first, I thought you were my reflection, but then I looked more intently. You were different. As I dipped my hand in, I felt a sudden tight clench on my wrist that took me by surprise and caused me to instinctively yank my hand out. But whatever was pulling on the other side was tugging relentlessly. With all my strength, I heaved my arm out as I toppled over on the damp moss behind me, and then, I saw you.

You were like me, but you weren’t the same. Yet, I couldn’t describe you, I would never know how. There you sat, on the hard ground in front of me, as I gazed, amazed as a small child watching a fireworks show. Confused, yet mesmerized, I couldn’t help but stare at your entirety as a being, astonished to find another thing as similar as me. And then it hit me. Something, I couldn’t say what, made me feel it was going to be okay. Your unfamiliarity (that was somehow familiar) was reassuring to me. Strangely, I felt a connection that exceeded our bodies and weaved our spirits together. Cosy and glimmering, it engulfed me like a tidal wave, and made me feel safe and more secure than I have ever felt in my entire life. But as you looked at me, something even more stunning happened. Suddenly, I knew that you felt the same. That you understood.

_And I cried, for I didn’t think it could be true, that you and I might’ve always known one and other. And that we could not only evoke, but conjure a place of our own. And that everywhere, that has ever existed, it was all in service of our dream._

_Now please… hear what I hear._

 

Can you hear it? Of course you can. You can hear the drills whirring and grinding in your ears. You can hear the wild disasters exploding every millisecond. You can hear the hate and anger coming from every mouth. You can hear the pain and agony of a million years, the screams of the tortured, the pain of the innocent being shredded into a thousand pieces, the suffering, the soreness of all that has ever hurt.

At least, that's what I hear. Many others would just call it “a bit intense”. They enjoy it. It thrills them. Makes them feel alive. Although I can't blame them, I can't relate. This monstrosity scars me every time. Ramming down my ear canal, it’s my struggle for freedom, from the gooey black that traps me, the grey that grows above and around me. Every. Single. Day.

_Now, let me explain. This ugliness… this cruelty… this repulsiveness… it will all die out._

As I hesitantly, yet confidently, held out my hand to you, hoping for the best, my heart smiled, as I had been blessed with best gift of them all. A companion. Trapped in this maze, this gridlocked conundrum that I can't escape, I never fully considered that the endless possibilities scattered across my mind could actually be true. But seeing you made me believe I could do anything and everything. You somehow gave me faith.

After a long silence, you swiftly reached out your hand and grabbed mine assertively. Overwhelmed with joy, I brought you to the ground. You, a carefully crafted piece of architecture, your face, a simple yet effective sculpture. And it felt like we were meant to be. As our hearts beat in perfect time, we began to contently stroll along the soft forest floor. And again, I saw in colour. Luscious and emerald, the leaves shone in the shining moonlight that beamed from the dark sky, once more.

Thank you.

 

_And now, I cry for all that is beautiful._


End file.
